Even if you missed the match and didn’t see any of the highlights, chances are you at least heard about the 11 hour first round tennis match that was played over three days at Wimbledon this week. American John Isner and Nicolas Mahut of France began the fifth and deciding set of their match on Wednesday after play was suspended by darkness on Tuesday evening. Certainly neither of them expected to play long enough for play to be suspended by darkness again on Wednesday, but that’s precisely what happened as the ‘first player to win 6 games, but you have to win by two’ set was tied at 59 games apiece. I first caught wind of it when they were tied on Wednesday at about 31-31. I remember last year’s men’s final when Roger Federer beat Andy Roddick something like 16-14 in the fifth. That was incredible enough, but 59-59? I was glad to be able to be near a TV on Thursday when the match finally ended in an Isner victory at 70-68. Yes, 70-68! Absolutely unprecedented and likely never to be rivaled in our lifetime, this match was compelling for the many records that were broken, the stamina displayed by the athletes (there’s nowhere to hide playing singles tennis), and the attention that two previously unheralded players were receiving.
After the match I was curious to see what would happen next. The All-England Club decided to make a show of it, recognizing the athletes for the show they had put on. There were gifts all around, photos taken, on-court interviews, and more. It was quite a scene. The whole time, I couldn’t help but wonder what it was like for Mr. Mahut to battle through a match like this, wind up losing, and then be put through the post-match dog and pony show. He conducted himself like a champion. Clearly disappointed, he buried his head in a towel immediately after playing. He spent a couple minutes in his chair, then gathered himself and handled it all very impressively. Some might use the word ‘classy’ to describe his attitude. I hoped that in a similar situation (although I’m not sure what could be similar to that!), I would do as well as he did. I hope that my children would do as well as he did. I hope that athletes I’ve coached would do as well as he did. There was a time, on a much smaller stage, that I failed to do as well as Nicolas Mahut. I used to buy into the lie of “you show me a good loser, and I’ll show you a loser”. What a load of bull that is. Let me show you.
In 1993, I was playing what wound up being my last high school game in any sport. About a month before graduation, our baseball team was in the district finals, and a win would put us in the state tournament. I had never played in the baseball state tournament, and wanted it badly. And by badly I mean really, really badly. Long story short, we lost our lead late in the game and came to bat in the last inning down by a run. I flied out to left field for the last out of the game, and it was over. I went into my, ‘let me stomp around and pout to show everybody how upset I am’ routine. In hindsight…not pretty. Season was over, baseball playing days were over, and I was really hurting. I didn’t realize at the time how much my self-worth was wrapped up in athletic achievement. So the time came to award our team the 2nd place in the district trophy. One other guy from the team and I were sent out there by the Coach to take the trophy from the tournament director. They handed it to the other guy, who handed it to me, and I proceeded to lay it down on the field and walk off. Can you imagine how absolutely brutal that looked? I thought I was showing everybody that I wasn’t a ‘good loser’ which meant I wasn’t a loser. Man, what a loser I was. Undoubtedly the biggest loser in that whole stadium that night.
I bet there was a small voice inside Nicolas Mahut yesterday that was trying to get him to skip out of all the post-match hoopla, get into the locker room and get the heck out of there. I am convinced he made the right choice, and I am glad he did.
Here’s the point I’m trying to carry into any coaching that I do: it is absolutely important for our athletes to work hard and compete like crazy to win. It is also absolutely important for our athletes to understand that winning or losing a game does not define them as human beings. Putting in the effort to win or lose is what we can control. Complete despair over things we cannot control is a recipe for a painful existence. We can show these young athletes a more excellent way.