Due to upcoming travel, there’s going to be a three week gap between this post and the next. That is, unless I see something that compels me to write and I just can’t wait.
Something I witnessed up close last week has compelled me to write today. It was a moment I could have easily missed, as it happened fast. I was on the baseball field, pitching to my son’s team in a “Coach Pitch” league of 7 year olds. One of our players hit a slow roller up the first base line. The kid playing first for the other team was hesitant – should he go hard after the ball and vacate the bag, or should he stay home and hope a teammate could get to the ball in time? It wouldn’t have been an easy play or an obvious choice for an experienced ballplayer. This little guy had no chance. As our runner safely made it to first, I heard the other coach scream, “Hey, that’s your ball!! Go get that ball!!” He sounded very angry, like he was personally offended. (Never mind that 80% of fair balls in this league result in runners reaching base). The boy and I briefly made eye contact and I could tell he was fighting tears. It broke my heart.
In the scheme of things, was this a big deal? I don’t know. It probably wasn’t. But how do we know that? At the very least, this coach missed an opportunity to teach in a way that communicated that he values this boy. My first thought was, “how are you going to scream at a kid who’s seven?” No way is that called for. Since then I’ve been thinking, “at what age does it become OK to scream at someone that you are in authority over?” I wonder how that man would have felt if someone showed up at his workplace and screamed at him in front of co-workers. I know this much, if I’m going to scream at someone I better know exactly what I’m saying and exactly why I’m saying it. I’m speculating a little, but this guy seemed to scream and yell because he didn’t know what else to do. He wanted the people who watched his player struggle that it wasn’t the coach’s fault, it was the boy’s. Ego was all over that act. And I know this much too – if ego or pride has anything to do with why I’m screaming at someone then I am wrong. 100% wrong. I dare say that most negative screaming and yelling that coaches do falls into that category. Ego and pride.
Is it really that hard to let the inning end, pull the kid aside and clearly explain to him what happened and what he could have done differently? I don’t think so, and that certainly seems like the best way for a coach to get his/her point across. Baseball is full of so many little decisions based on situation that there’s no way a young kid can be prepared for everything. Whatever sport you coach is probably similar in that respect. That makes it all the more important that we seize teachable moments and communicate well. How can we expect young athletes to learn and improve any other way? That day, the only thing I saw that boy learn was that if I “mess up”, coach gets mad. I think of the first 5-6 years I spent in coaching and wonder how many times I operated from that place myself. Probably too many to count.