In the years I spent in coaching I had opportunities to develop some very cool relationships with athletes. In some cases, I actually took advantage of those opportunities. Unfortunately, there are many that I missed.
I try not to major in regret as I live my life, but this is one area where I certainly have some. I retired from full-time coaching at the ripe old age of 28, and at that point I was just beginning to scratch the surface of what it means to care about other people. And while I do believe that God has used me to impact people’s lives in a positive way (often in spite of myself), I also know that if I could relive 1998-2004 there’s a whole lot that I would do differently. There are dozens, maybe hundreds of people that I could intentionally get to know and invest in more than I did. This isn’t haunting me or keeping me up at night, but when I think about it, there’s a definite tinge of regret for the way I went about things.
Earlier this week I listened to a school district’s superintendant talk about the start of his career in education and his time as an athletic coach. He talked about the people that, in his words, he should have spent more time caring about. He should have been working to build relationships with more of his players that transcended their sport, and that would live on beyond the season or even graduation. Obviously I understood where he was coming from.
Rod Olson also spoke that day, and showed a video from ESPN that featured the special bond between Urban Meyer and Tim Tebow. Those two men were able to develop something special that was WAY bigger than football. Along the way, they also won a bunch of games and a couple national titles, so don’t believe the lie that a coach can’t afford to get close to his/her players without losing some sort of mythical ‘edge’. Maybe that was true in 1963, I don’t really know. It certainly isn’t true today. As coaches, we don’t need to fear sharing life with the people we are charged with leading.
Of course, it’s possible to take a player/coach relationship to places that are unhealthy or inappropriate. In his talk, Rod said, “when you can no longer hold the player accountable, you have gotten too close.” Good to keep in mind, no doubt. But that said, who are the players that you have a chance to invest in this year, and get to know in a way that is more significant and enduring than a 3 month sports season? No regrets.