For 99% of my life, I have been the guy who will do just about anything to avoid conflict. It’s unpleasant, it’s uncomfortable and there is the potential to see relationships damaged when we engage in conflict with each other. Whether it’s with a spouse, a close friend or a stranger, once in a while we all find ourselves getting sideways with another person.
It’s not like this happens every day; conflict hasn’t exactly come looking for me all that often, but certainly there are times when it does. Sometimes the situation is a direct result of something I’ve done, other times I’ve just kind of been in the wrong place at the wrong time. But regardless, when conflict comes, I have usually done my best to make it go away quickly. That’s what feels best to me.
Not long ago, I heard something that has me thinking differently about all this. And as so often happens, my selfishness was the source of the confusion. What if, when faced with a conflict, I can step outside of myself and see the bigger picture? What if, instead of worrying about what the situation means for me, I can get in the habit of seeing another person who is hurting?
How would that type of attitude adjustment affect the way I view someone who has a problem with me? What would happen if I could see the big picture, considering this an opportunity to show love to someone in need, without being caught up in my own insecurity? It seems like that would be a win all the way around.