I hear this all the time, so 
I’m guessing you might also. I hear people ranting about the evils of our children growing up in a world where “everybody gets a trophy”. It’s funny to me, because while I understand the point these people are trying to make, the phenomenon of the participation trophy or ribbon isn’t exactly a recent one.
I know for a fact that in 1986 I got a trophy for playing on the A’s, a little league baseball team. I remember they gave out participation ribbons at our swim meets around that same time. I don’t remember feeling especially entitled as a result of being handed those “awards”.
But plenty of people seem to feel like participation awards are spoiling our children, so I thought it was a topic worth digging into. A couple weeks ago, NFL linebacker James Harrison made news when he posted about taking away the participation trophies his young sons were handed at a camp. If Harrison wants to return the trophies, that’s his choice. It’s certainly not my job to tell him how to raise his children. (I am a little curious as to why he thought we all needed to know about it, but whatever.)
One thing I must say is that I absolutely disagree with the notion that people of character don’t accept anything they haven’t earned. What a load of baloney that is. Obviously every person’s set of circumstances is unique. We are all dealt different hands as far as gifts, talents and opportunities. We all are responsible for our choices. At the same time, 99% of us are kidding ourselves if we claim to have earned everything we have. So to send the message to children that if we don’t earn it, it’s not real, seems like a shaky place to begin. James Harrison’s children are growing up with a father who has earned millions of dollars playing football. Should they turn down the things he provides for them because he is wealthy and they haven’t earned that money themselves? Sounds ridiculous, I understand, but where do you draw that line? Where is it OK to simply receive what isn’t earned? Hard to say.
I also came across this post from Coach John O’Sullivan of the Changing the Game Project. Out of all the comments or thoughts I’ve heard or read about participation trophies, John’s are certainly among the very best. I loved the intro to his post, and couldn’t wait to read the rest. John opens with:
“Daddy, do we get trophies for playing lacrosse this spring?” my son asked me a few months back.
“No, you get to go out and run around and have lots of fun while learning lacrosse,” I said.
“OK!” Then he turned and ran out on the field for the start of his first practice.
Isn’t that just about perfect? Read the rest of John’s post and see what you think, but for me, I think he nails it. I’m pretty convinced that handing a child a trophy for showing up is far from the worst thing that we can do. I don’t think the “everybody gets a trophy” policy has ruined sports for kids. As I wrote earlier, this has been going on for decades. At the same time, I think what we’ve lost sight of in many cases is that the real prize for our children is simply the opportunity to play.