If you have ever coached 8 or under kids, you know the frustration with shoes. It’s amazing how many times I find myself bending down to tie a kid’s shoe. I often wonder how much of practice or a game is wasted because we have to wait to tie a kid’s shoes.
I’ve got one little guy on my team who just can’t seem to ever keep his tied. He is a smart kid, but the shoe tying concepts escapes him. I think his mom ties his shoes most of the time and when she doesn’t, he resorts to tucking his laces into the sides of his shoes to hide the fact that he can’t tie them yet. Things seem to be fine, but little by little his laces start to slip out, until one time he takes a shot and his whole shoe goes flying off like a boomerang that’s probably not coming back. Yes, this happens fairly often…
When his shoe finally lands, he quickly goes to grab it and slinks off the field.
So the other day this exact thing happened. It doesn’t surprise me anymore. He grabbed his shoe and tried to dodge the eyes he was sure were watching him. I called him over. He looked down at his feet as he handed me his shoes. I loosened them up the rest of the way and bent down to have him slip his foot in. Then I slowly tightened them up. “Now we don’t want them too tight” I explained. “Just tighten them from the bottom up slowly until it feels firm. How is that? “Good”, he said. I began again, “Hey, that was a great cut back and cross you made, I really liked that”. He smiled but didn’t say anything. I continued, “So after I cross the laces over like this, I make two bunny ears and cross them over and under just like so. And then I pull them tight so the knot is tight. And then I again take the two bunny ears and I cross them over and under into another knot. OK, all set.”
“Thanks, Alec,” said the little voice.
To anyone watching, nothing significant happened. I didn’t even realize it was significant to me at first. That simple phrase, “Thanks, Alec!” It was as if his heart said, “Thanks for seeing me, coach.” It was the first time he had ever thanked me for tying his shoes. In the past, I would either joke with him about not being able to tie his shoes or simply do it as fast as I could, so I could get back to coaching. But some reason, I could almost feel the frustration in him, “All the big kids can keep their shoes tied, why can’t I?” I can’t say why I was more aware except that in my heart I had decided I wasn’t going to rush. I was going to slow down. I decided I wasn’t going to see this as an inconvenience.
In the craziness of coaching, it’s actually hard to find time to connect with your players. Everything feels urgent and the game or practice always seems to need your constant attention.
Inconveniences are inconvenient, but what if inconveniences aren’t the real problem, but how we are thinking about inconveniences that’s the real problem? What if these “problems” are an opportunity to slow down? What if flaws, mistakes, and struggles are the cracks and doorways that lead us into a deeper connection with our players, with other people?
It’s tempting to complain about the little things that our players do that drive us nuts or things that are time-consuming. I was reminded of how thankful I am that God isn’t like us, he doesn’t let the little things we do and repetitive mistakes we make affect the way he feels and thinks about us. We aren’t ever an inconvenience to him and he’s always happy to slow down.
Applications
- Matt. 25:40, “…’Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” What a coach does for their worst player or the player that inconveniences them the most they does for Christ.
- Matthew 10:42, “And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones who is my disciple, truly I tell you, that person will certainly not lose their reward.” The smallest acts of service, like shoe tying or passing out water, is not unnoticed by God and will be rewarded.