Back to Basics
by Ryan Krzykowski
I’m pretty sure I’ve used this title for a post at some point in the past, because the URL at the top of the page says “back to basics 2”. I didn’t choose that, it was chosen for me, so apparently we’ve been here before. But that’s really no surprise is it? We all need to go back to basics once in a while, and for CFC that time is right now.
Coaching Life Groups have launched for the fall, and in one of the groups, having been through Coaching With Purpose Volumes 1 and 2, including a deep dive into John O’Sullivan’s Every Moment Matters, this group decided to turn back the clock about a decade and revisit InSideOut Coaching by Joe Ehrmann.
In last week’s conversation we looked at the book’s introduction and I absolutely loved it. The words “transactional” and “transformational” get tossed around quite a bit in coaching circles these days, and while I’m positive Joe Ehrmann didn’t invent those words, his work was where I personally first encountered the terminology of transactional vs. transformational. Reading Joe’s descriptions of these ideas was an important, powerful reminder of who I want to be, and who we can all be as we work with young people:
Transactional coaches: the kind of coaches who use players as tools to meet their personal needs for validation, status and identity. Coach first, team second, and player’s growth and needs last, if at all.
Transformational coaches: other-centered, using their power and platform to nurture and transform players. Players first, coach’s needs met by meeting the needs of players.
Let’s get back to basics. Let’s Coach With Purpose…
InSideOut Coaching by Joe Ehrmann, I remember seeing this book in the Sunday paper years ago, reading the intro and thinking, wow this coach loves, he really gets it. A few days later I got a call from my grandma in Florida, she said, I am sending you a book that I saw in the Sunday Parade section. Interesting, this grandma of mine didn’t know love when I was growing up, I never felt her love, I really never saw her speak my love language, she bought great Christmas presents but I never felt love. In 1988 my grandpa died, she tells her story, I was all alone, I didn’t know what to do, I cried out, Lord God of Heaven, save me. She got up different that day, she was the very first person to show me love, not mom, not dad, it was my grandma, she started calling me and checking in on me, wow, love. At age 62-92 she modeled that kind of love! Inside out! Joe Ehrmann kind of love. Imagine, I reached out to a kid named Arland Bruce yesterday, he is a star receiver playing at a D1 college, it sounds like a dream doesn’t it. My question to him was, how are YOU doing, be honest! I already knew what he was feeling, all alone, under utilized, team winning but I don’t feel like I am winning. Ah, let us probe that feeling AB, are you safe, are you secure in who you are, who God is, where is this feeling coming from, ah we did some work around his feeling, a feeling round, starting at a 4 and ending with a positive 8-9. I bet in HS he didn’t realize that I was coaching inside out, way way back when he joined my grade school basketball team. God used my grandma to teach me, hold my breath, and go below the surface, go into the heart of kids and men.