“It Teaches Them to Love”
by Ryan Krzykowski
Every Thursday morning I continue to meet with a group of coaches who work with athletes in a variety of sports. We call it our Coaching Life Group, and together we are reading and discussing Season of Life by Jeffrey Marx, which was released back in 2004. Two weeks ago I wrote about a line from that incredible book, and how it impacted me and inspired me to reach out to my brother. At the time, I had no intention of continuing to use this space to refer to Season of Life and write about the latest idea from the book that got my attention. And yet, that’s exactly what I’m about to do.
In chapter 8, we are introduced to the 2001 Gilman School football team at their first practice. We get to see Joe Ehrmann in his role as Defensive Coordinator, and we meet Head Coach Biff Poggi. By the time the ’01 season rolls around, Biff and Joe have been close friends for well over a decade. They share a common view of their sport as a means to develop young people, in their case, young men. They have created an organization called Building Men for Others, and they see their role as coaches primarily as a means to help boys become men of “empathy and integrity”. They also dominate on the field, entering that season ranked as the #1 team in the state coming off an unbeaten 2000 season.
As we read this chapter, we get a chance to hear Biff’s heart as he welcomes the team to its first practice and we’re given a glimpse into their meeting rooms during preseason camp. We see the first repetition of the team’s iconic call and response, when Biff asks the players, “What is the job of your coaches?”, and the team replies, “To love us.” Followed by, “And what’s your job?”, to which the boys respond, “To love each other.” There is talk from Biff and Joe to the team about how the measure of one’s life is directly linked to how we contribute to the lives of other people, and there’s a powerful illustration related to Jesus’ Parable of the Talents. Biff and Joe recognize that not every player they coach is equally gifted athletically — some run faster, or are bigger or stronger than others. But their expectation is that every player on that team brings the same energy and effort to his role. And they make it clear that every player on their varsity team has a role, and will find himself on the field on game night.
There’s no way I can do this chapter justice in a few paragraphs, but the thought I had reading it last week was, “Every coach should read at least this one chapter prior to the start of their season.” I sincerely believe that would make a huge difference in many of our teams and in countless people’s lives. But taking all this in for the first time, author Jeffrey Marx summarizes his impressions beautifully:
If a Martian had just happened to land on Earth and somehow found himself witnessing only that introductory talk, a perfectly logical communique home might have included a summary such as this: “Learned about some sort of group gathering called football. It teaches boys to love.”
I understand not everyone reading this blog and Season of Life is a football coach, but regardless of who you are and who you work with, imagine that sentence being written about you, the work you do and the people you influence. “Learned about some sort of group gathering called soccer/wrestling/tennis/cooking class/the IT department/pharmaceutical sales/etc. It teaches people to love.”
Why not?
Let’s Coach With Purpose…