“Just Be There”

by Ryan Krzykowski

Our friend Bill Severns emailed out a “Legacy Letter” last week.  The first time I read it through, I felt myself tear up and immediately sent Bill a note asking his permission to share it in this space.  I just read it again with the same result.  Bill’s words got me thinking about my sons, all of whom are well past 12 years old (you’ll see the significance of that in a minute).  There is so much impactful wisdom jammed into these few short paragraphs, not surprising since Bill is one of the very best people I’ve ever known.  This essay focuses on parenting, and the ideas certainly can be applied more broadly to a variety of relationships.

With his permission, I’m including Bill’s entire post below.  Thank you, Bill.

37 Minutes by Bill Severns

From Day 1, right when they are born, talk to your child. You want your child to talk to you, so talk to your child.

In her final years, as I would sit in my mom’s living room (a makeshift office for me) she would say, “Make sure to remind your parents to do everything…while they can…with their children.”

Over the 40+ years I have been a parent there are a few things I know to be true.

One of them is that time flies!!

In the blink of an eye, I am a grandfather of 13. When did that happen? It is one thing to say “time flies” but it’s another to say, “Where did it go?”

Mom was right as always ::))

There is a statistic that states, by the time your child is 12 you will have spent nearly 80% of the time you will ever spend together.

Cherish every moment….while you can.

One night in 2016, the phone rang at 9:06 pm.

It was my son, Drew. He was 30 at the time. He doesn’t often call at 9:06 just to talk. The Royals were going into the night in the grip of the Miami Marlins.

“Hey buddy, what’s the matter?” Any call after 9 pm gets that response from me.

“Well, I just called to talk because I can. Don’t know what I’ll do when I can’t call you. Just glad you’re here for me to talk to.”  (My best advice to parents is to be there).

So we talked. We talked about whatever he wanted to talk about, work, friends, challenges…whatever.  He needed to talk. He had started a new job and was doing great. He just needed some reassurance and encouragement. We all do.

As we all do as parents, I tried to wrap it up with something I know a little bit about: baseball ::)) Keep it simple, right?

“Just keep playing like Jeter did.” Derek Jeter was the Yankee shortstop for many years. He was the Captain.  He showed up every day, prepared, hustled and they won many championships with him doing his job…just playing shortstop…every day.

That’s all you can do…play your position to the best of your ability. You can’t play them all. Help your children develop their natural abilities.

So he wrapped it up like this.

“Pops, thanks for these 37 minutes.  I really needed to talk.  I’m ready now to get some sleep and get after it tomorrow…good night, Pops.”

I didn’t know we were being timed.

Do your job…no regrets…while you can.

Well said, thanks again Bill.  And Let’s Coach With Purpose…