What is Love?

by Ryan Krzykowski

I coach to help young people compete joyfully — guiding them on a journey toward becoming resilient, selfless encouragers who are known by their love for each other.

That purpose statement is something I adopted about five years ago, and it’s served as a filter, lens, roadmap, etc. for me as a coach ever since.  In the current fall season, I’ve been given the opportunity to have regular meeting time with two distinct collections of young men within our school’s football program: the receiver position group that I co-coach, and the 14-member leadership squad that was elected by their teammates back in August.  With both of those, we’re looking at The Champion Teammate by John O’Sullivan and Jerry Lynch in our weekly discussion time.  Using the six key words (compete, joy, resilient, selfless, encourager, and love) in my purpose statement, I identified a chapter that fit with each, assigning two players to read the chapter and come ready to talk about something that stood out to them from the reading.  I also give them a question to ponder that goes along with the topic.

At this point of the season, we’ve made it nearly all the way through the six chapters I initially chose, so I’ve got a little work to do to figure out what comes next.  But we still have one of our keywords left, and in the upcoming sessions we’re going to be talking about the idea of Love.  To be clear, these “Love” meetings haven’t happened yet so there’s a chance they’ll fall flat, but I’m pretty jazzed about the plan that’s come together and wanted to share it in some detail.  Maybe you work with a group that could benefit from something like this.  Or maybe you’ll be encouraged in some other way just by knowing there’s a team out there doing what I’m about to describe.

In August, I was asked to address our entire team on the topic of Love, which was right up my alley since it’s one of the keywords in my purpose statement.  In that 5 minute talk, I hit on the idea that “love is a verb”.  That our words matter, but really only insofar as they align with our actions.  I then shared a well-known definition/description of love from Scripture (1 Corinthians 13), giving the players a list of love’s qualities.  Love is patient, kind, etc.  They were asked to consider what a team that, as a rule, treated each other in these ways, could look and feel like.  I asked them what it would mean to be part of group that lived Love out well.

Building on the foundation of that August talk, for next week’s discussions I’ve asked two players to answer the following question and be ready to share with the group.

Pick one aspect from this list that you’ve experienced from someone in your life:

Love is: patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud/arrogant, does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs, always protects, always trusts, always, hopes, always perseveres, never fails

Who showed you love in one of those ways, and what difference did it make?

Giving 15-18 year old men a chance to think about life and love in this type of setting is like nothing I ever experienced as an athlete.  This fall’s team is a special group of kids who are doing special things, and (like every team we coach) they deserve the best we can give them.  In the short term, it would be great to see them take this season as far as it can go, and loving each other well can certainly help us get there.  Far more importantly, in the long run, I hope and pray we’re giving them something that will make a difference for decades and beyond, into eternity.

Let’s Coach With Purpose…